My Frame Control Goes Out The Window
Description :
Do You Reveal Too Much About Your Relationship?
Be Yourself: The Truth About Authentic Dating
Why So Many Relationships End at 90 Days
There really are NO BAD DATES!
How The Law of Attraction Can Help You Find Love
A Dude Diner’s Doctrine
Soundtrax To Your Life: Pre-Date Tunes
Ms. Awesome’s Advice for Men
Bad Relationships Aren’t Investments
How To Get A One Nite Stand Out Of Your Apartment
So, if you saw the previous post, you know I was getting sick of Ghetto Club‘s nagging.
So, I decided I was going to let her chill for a few days and then when she hit me up I was going to be like “we need to talk” and then tell her about herself.
I did just that. She texted me late Monday night. I texted her back,
I’m a call u in a bit. I need to say something…
Right after I text her that, Short Model calls – perfect, after spending some time on the phone with her, I can call Ghetto Club, and she’ll never be the wiser.
So, I do just that.
I call Ghetto Club after I get off the phone.
“So, what is it you wanted to say to me?”
“I just wanted to tell you, you’ve been annoying me lately. It’s like you’re trying to pressure me to do shit, ‘you should take me to the movies, you should invite me to the club, why didn’t you text me back?, why didn’t you call me? why didn’t you invite me out?’ Do you hear what that shit sounds like. That was you last week. It rubbed me the wrong way. I actually thinking about letting you chill for awhile, but then I figured I’d tell you what’s up.”
“So, I annoy you?”
“Yes. Lately, last week. Too much nagging, that’s not how you get someone to want to hang out with you.”
“Ok. I appreciate it, I feel like I do something like that that annoys you, you should tell me, so I’ll know.”
“That’s what I’m doing right now. That’s why I’m telling you.”
“Okay. I appreciate it. I mean most guys never tell me shit, they just let me run over them until they get sick of it and disappear, so thanks.”
“Yeah. Obviously, I’d never let you run over me.”
“I see….”
We talk some more, it seems cool. She even starts to correct herself everytime she is about to say “should.” “You should… oh, wait, never mind, I’m not supposed to say that…… how about… [blah, blah, blah], see I can’t even be myself around you.”
“Sure you can, just be a nice, sweet version of yourself. I just want you to be a nice, sweet girl.”
“But, I’m not nice…”
“For me. Be a nice, sweet girl for me.”
…. conversation continues, until her mom comes into her room I guess. I start goofing around by sucking up to her mom through her, “tell your mom I said Hi Ms. [her name], how are you doing today? Having a lovely day, I hope!’” Shit like that. Blatant about it.
Ghetto Club relays the messages and then calls me a suckup.
Then, her mom leaves the room…. but, then she comes back ranting and raving about Ghetto Club’s sister. I actually hold for a bit, only because it’s her mom, before I tell Ghetto Club, “Hey! Hey! I really gotta go and work on my homework though…”
“Ok. I’m sorry.”
Minutes later, she texts me:
Her, 11:19 pm: My mom said sorry she just had to vent. And I’m sorry. She always does that :/ it gets a lil aggravating but she is my mom.. Anywho, if you have time call me back
Meanwhile, I’m not doing homework, but instead Facebook gaming like 5 different girls at the same time. After a few, I call her back. I don’t know why. I could’ve just left it at that, but I guess I still wanted to talk to her. I mean, I thought we were cool.
I call her back. She apologizes for her mom again, and then says, “You’re done with your homework already?”
“Naw, I’m not.”
“Oh, well, you don’t have to talk to me, I don’t want to get in the way of your GPA.”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Oh, ‘you wouldn’t let that happen’?, huh? Okay….”
We talk some more, about who knows what. I don’t even remember. Then, she decides to revisit it.
I hear her voice get more somber too, like she’s actually sad….
“Wait, I just want to go back to this…. “
She brings it back up.
“What is it you want me to be?”
“A nice, sweet girl.”
“I am nice to you, what else do you want?”
“You should do stuff like cook for me.”
“Why? Is this a relationship?”
“No.”
“You’re not even my man! Why should I cook for you?”
“Because you want to?”
“I don’t cook for stangers.”
“Whatever. You know me. You know you want to cook for me.”
“How come I’m willing to take your advice, but you’re not willing to take mine?”
I laugh.
“See, you laugh at me. You don’t even take me seriously.”
I laugh some more.
“I just want you to be a gentleman. Do you even know what a gentleman is? Look it up in the dictionary.”
I change the subject.
She goes back to it. ”No seriously. I want you to look up gentleman in the dictionary.”
“Draggadorf….”
“I’m so nice to you too. You invite me somewhere, and then expect me to pay. Who does that? Look up gentleman, I don’t think me and you have the same definition of what a gentleman is.”
“Girl, we’ve already talked about this. We’re not talking about it again. Stop harping on old shit. See,” and here’s my first fumble, “this is why I didn’t want to talk about this shit on the phone.”
“What do you mean?”
“I would’ve rather have talked about it in person. What’s your schedule look like this week?”
“What day? Because, I don’t know the whole week.”
“Well, I’m too busy tomorrow probably, but we can chill sometime Wednesday, maybe.”
“On the holiday?”
“What holiday is Wednesday?”
“Umm….4/20?” <Yeah, now you see how far behind real life my blog posts are running right now….>
“Oh yeah. You should bring me something good.”
“You just said should.”
“Yeah, you should.”
“No… if I can’t say you should to you, you can’t say it to me.”
I laugh.
“I’m serious. How are you going to ask me to do something when you’re not even willing to do it yourself?”
And…. watch my frame crumble…..
“That’s not how this works.”
“Well, how does it work? It’s your way or the highway. Everything is your way, it’s a one way street with you. I have no input.”
“Girl, calm down.”
“No, you’re not being fair! You want me to be submissive, but what do you get to be? Huh, what are you going to be for me? What’s your role?”
“A muthafucking man.”
“No! I want you to be a gentleman!”
I laugh.
“See, you don’t even take me seriously.”
“Because you are too funny when you pretend to be angry.”
“You’re not taking me seriously, I’m not pretending.”
“Yeah… you should take a picture.”
“Everything is a one way street with you.”
“Whatever. You know you want to drive down this one way street.” <Fuck up. Her frame.>
“I did, I am driving down it, but I’m about to have a head on collision.”
“Whatever, anyway, what time are you free Wednesday?” <I try to go back to making plans. In hindsight, probably wasn’t a good time>
“No time now…”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah… not for you. Everything is all about you. You’re trying to control me.”
“Girl, I’m not trying to control you, do you realize all that I do for you?”
“What? What do you do?”
“I give you my time. I hang out with you, talk to you on the phone, text you…”
“I do all of that with you too… “
Phone conversation gets quiet. She tries to call me out for trying to control her. I say I’m not trying to control her, but I don’t really elaborate, we just sit there in silence. I’m stammering now… I can tell she’s actually pissed and isn’t going to say much anymore. I’m still trying to save a conversation. I don’t know why….
“Girl, I do do shit for you, stop acting like I don’t. Why you think everytime I pick a place to hangout, I pick it in the [blank] area? Because that’s in between the both of us, so it’s fair for both of us.”
“But it’s you. It’s always you making the decisions. You never ask for my input!”
“We’re not talking about this anymore… I told you how you can make a suggestion.”
“Don’t you realize I’m not submissive! I’m used to getting my way. I’ve been treated like a princess since I was 13. I don’t know what world you live in, but you need to come back to reality! You always have to get your way in your world, it’s always your decision.”
“Girl… calm down.”
“No, it’s all about you…I can’t say should but you can. What kind of sense does that make, you’re not even willing to do for me what I’m willing to do for you. I like hanging out with you, but I just don’t know if I can do this anymore…. it was nice knowing you…”
I don’t say much after that, just stuff like “Draggadorf….. “, her name, her whole name, stuff she keeps saying “yes” to, but at the same time neither of us are talking. Just sitting in silence. Eventually, I get off the phone, “Alright, I really do have to do my homework though”
“Goodbye”
“Bye.”
I get off the phone, and I’m so pissed off. That’s opposite of what I was trying to do today. I vent on Twitter a bit and decide that it’s over, and then I block her number on my phone, so I can’t receive texts or calls from her anymore – just because I don’t trust myself to actually ignore her if I don’t do that…
She goes on Facebook and writes this as her status:
your love by diddy dirty money today…im feelin really unappreciated tomorrow. people suck…. thats why its best to live a numb life!
Of course it’s about me. She’s “unappreciated” or whatever….
Then, this happens…. some dude comments on her status, read for yourself the conversation that follows:
Random Dude: Damn skippy!
Ghetto Club: JAY SEAN! i was thinkin bout you today and got sad :[ you act like you dont love miss keri no more...
Random Dude: Hahah I'll always love my miss keri! Too bad she's been MIA since forever. Loll
Ghetto Club: sayyy what? i am not MIA. thats youu. everytime i ask about you somebody says oo i havent seen himm!
Random Dude: Hahahha whaa? I'm always on campus! Stop hiding from me :(
Ghetto Club: ya yaaa... ok lets hang out wednesday... lol go to [campus event]. i need points or i wont graduate on time… :/
Random Dude: Ahahhahaha girl your gonna be stuck at [school] foreverR! Lmao. Ok sounds good then lunch after?
Ghetto Club: ooo sureee! seeing as how we still have YET to go get lunch!!!
Random Dude: You bailed on me on our last lunch date!!!
Ghetto Club: nu uhhhh! i just had to make sure them jello shots were tasty…lol it was a very important task :]
Random Dude: Still counts as bailing…
Ghetto Club: nooo bc it was for your benefit my love! its ok.. redo this wednesday!
Random Dude: Hahah fine! Where to bosslady?
Ghetto Club: hmmm idc you can pick!
Random Dude: What your buying?? Ok cool :)
Ghetto Club: yea with the whole 2 bucks in my bank acct! can we say BALLIN!!!
Random Dude: Hahah shoot that’s a chicken patty with one pickle on the side! Baller!
Ghetto Club: o yeaaaa. i likes to do it big!
Wow. Is she fucking serious? On a status about me, she’s going to set up a date with a dude and give him the same Wednesday I just tried to chill with her on. Naw…. that’s just all the way disrepectful. Yeah, her fucking number is staying deleted.
I’m done.
Sucks that this feels like a breakup almost and we weren’t even together like that. I definitely wanted to keep her around longer, but I just feel like the same “you’re not a gentleman, you need to treat me like a princess! How come we never do what I want to do?” drama was just going to keep coming up.
Be Yourself: The Truth About Authentic Dating
Why So Many Relationships End at 90 Days
There really are NO BAD DATES!
How The Law of Attraction Can Help You Find Love
A Dude Diner’s Doctrine
Soundtrax To Your Life: Pre-Date Tunes
Ms. Awesome’s Advice for Men
Bad Relationships Aren’t Investments
How To Get A One Nite Stand Out Of Your Apartment
So, if you saw the previous post, you know I was getting sick of Ghetto Club‘s nagging.
So, I decided I was going to let her chill for a few days and then when she hit me up I was going to be like “we need to talk” and then tell her about herself.
I did just that. She texted me late Monday night. I texted her back,
I’m a call u in a bit. I need to say something…
Right after I text her that, Short Model calls – perfect, after spending some time on the phone with her, I can call Ghetto Club, and she’ll never be the wiser.
So, I do just that.
I call Ghetto Club after I get off the phone.
“So, what is it you wanted to say to me?”
“I just wanted to tell you, you’ve been annoying me lately. It’s like you’re trying to pressure me to do shit, ‘you should take me to the movies, you should invite me to the club, why didn’t you text me back?, why didn’t you call me? why didn’t you invite me out?’ Do you hear what that shit sounds like. That was you last week. It rubbed me the wrong way. I actually thinking about letting you chill for awhile, but then I figured I’d tell you what’s up.”
“So, I annoy you?”
“Yes. Lately, last week. Too much nagging, that’s not how you get someone to want to hang out with you.”
“Ok. I appreciate it, I feel like I do something like that that annoys you, you should tell me, so I’ll know.”
“That’s what I’m doing right now. That’s why I’m telling you.”
“Okay. I appreciate it. I mean most guys never tell me shit, they just let me run over them until they get sick of it and disappear, so thanks.”
“Yeah. Obviously, I’d never let you run over me.”
“I see….”
We talk some more, it seems cool. She even starts to correct herself everytime she is about to say “should.” “You should… oh, wait, never mind, I’m not supposed to say that…… how about… [blah, blah, blah], see I can’t even be myself around you.”
“Sure you can, just be a nice, sweet version of yourself. I just want you to be a nice, sweet girl.”
“But, I’m not nice…”
“For me. Be a nice, sweet girl for me.”
…. conversation continues, until her mom comes into her room I guess. I start goofing around by sucking up to her mom through her, “tell your mom I said Hi Ms. [her name], how are you doing today? Having a lovely day, I hope!’” Shit like that. Blatant about it.
Ghetto Club relays the messages and then calls me a suckup.
Then, her mom leaves the room…. but, then she comes back ranting and raving about Ghetto Club’s sister. I actually hold for a bit, only because it’s her mom, before I tell Ghetto Club, “Hey! Hey! I really gotta go and work on my homework though…”
“Ok. I’m sorry.”
Minutes later, she texts me:
Her, 11:19 pm: My mom said sorry she just had to vent. And I’m sorry. She always does that :/ it gets a lil aggravating but she is my mom.. Anywho, if you have time call me back
Meanwhile, I’m not doing homework, but instead Facebook gaming like 5 different girls at the same time. After a few, I call her back. I don’t know why. I could’ve just left it at that, but I guess I still wanted to talk to her. I mean, I thought we were cool.
I call her back. She apologizes for her mom again, and then says, “You’re done with your homework already?”
“Naw, I’m not.”
“Oh, well, you don’t have to talk to me, I don’t want to get in the way of your GPA.”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Oh, ‘you wouldn’t let that happen’?, huh? Okay….”
We talk some more, about who knows what. I don’t even remember. Then, she decides to revisit it.
I hear her voice get more somber too, like she’s actually sad….
“Wait, I just want to go back to this…. “
She brings it back up.
“What is it you want me to be?”
“A nice, sweet girl.”
“I am nice to you, what else do you want?”
“You should do stuff like cook for me.”
“Why? Is this a relationship?”
“No.”
“You’re not even my man! Why should I cook for you?”
“Because you want to?”
“I don’t cook for stangers.”
“Whatever. You know me. You know you want to cook for me.”
“How come I’m willing to take your advice, but you’re not willing to take mine?”
I laugh.
“See, you laugh at me. You don’t even take me seriously.”
I laugh some more.
“I just want you to be a gentleman. Do you even know what a gentleman is? Look it up in the dictionary.”
I change the subject.
She goes back to it. ”No seriously. I want you to look up gentleman in the dictionary.”
“Draggadorf….”
“I’m so nice to you too. You invite me somewhere, and then expect me to pay. Who does that? Look up gentleman, I don’t think me and you have the same definition of what a gentleman is.”
“Girl, we’ve already talked about this. We’re not talking about it again. Stop harping on old shit. See,” and here’s my first fumble, “this is why I didn’t want to talk about this shit on the phone.”
“What do you mean?”
“I would’ve rather have talked about it in person. What’s your schedule look like this week?”
“What day? Because, I don’t know the whole week.”
“Well, I’m too busy tomorrow probably, but we can chill sometime Wednesday, maybe.”
“On the holiday?”
“What holiday is Wednesday?”
“Umm….4/20?” <Yeah, now you see how far behind real life my blog posts are running right now….>
“Oh yeah. You should bring me something good.”
“You just said should.”
“Yeah, you should.”
“No… if I can’t say you should to you, you can’t say it to me.”
I laugh.
“I’m serious. How are you going to ask me to do something when you’re not even willing to do it yourself?”
And…. watch my frame crumble…..
“That’s not how this works.”
“Well, how does it work? It’s your way or the highway. Everything is your way, it’s a one way street with you. I have no input.”
“Girl, calm down.”
“No, you’re not being fair! You want me to be submissive, but what do you get to be? Huh, what are you going to be for me? What’s your role?”
“A muthafucking man.”
“No! I want you to be a gentleman!”
I laugh.
“See, you don’t even take me seriously.”
“Because you are too funny when you pretend to be angry.”
“You’re not taking me seriously, I’m not pretending.”
“Yeah… you should take a picture.”
“Everything is a one way street with you.”
“Whatever. You know you want to drive down this one way street.” <Fuck up. Her frame.>
“I did, I am driving down it, but I’m about to have a head on collision.”
“Whatever, anyway, what time are you free Wednesday?” <I try to go back to making plans. In hindsight, probably wasn’t a good time>
“No time now…”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah… not for you. Everything is all about you. You’re trying to control me.”
“Girl, I’m not trying to control you, do you realize all that I do for you?”
“What? What do you do?”
“I give you my time. I hang out with you, talk to you on the phone, text you…”
“I do all of that with you too… “
Phone conversation gets quiet. She tries to call me out for trying to control her. I say I’m not trying to control her, but I don’t really elaborate, we just sit there in silence. I’m stammering now… I can tell she’s actually pissed and isn’t going to say much anymore. I’m still trying to save a conversation. I don’t know why….
“Girl, I do do shit for you, stop acting like I don’t. Why you think everytime I pick a place to hangout, I pick it in the [blank] area? Because that’s in between the both of us, so it’s fair for both of us.”
“But it’s you. It’s always you making the decisions. You never ask for my input!”
“We’re not talking about this anymore… I told you how you can make a suggestion.”
“Don’t you realize I’m not submissive! I’m used to getting my way. I’ve been treated like a princess since I was 13. I don’t know what world you live in, but you need to come back to reality! You always have to get your way in your world, it’s always your decision.”
“Girl… calm down.”
“No, it’s all about you…I can’t say should but you can. What kind of sense does that make, you’re not even willing to do for me what I’m willing to do for you. I like hanging out with you, but I just don’t know if I can do this anymore…. it was nice knowing you…”
I don’t say much after that, just stuff like “Draggadorf….. “, her name, her whole name, stuff she keeps saying “yes” to, but at the same time neither of us are talking. Just sitting in silence. Eventually, I get off the phone, “Alright, I really do have to do my homework though”
“Goodbye”
“Bye.”
I get off the phone, and I’m so pissed off. That’s opposite of what I was trying to do today. I vent on Twitter a bit and decide that it’s over, and then I block her number on my phone, so I can’t receive texts or calls from her anymore – just because I don’t trust myself to actually ignore her if I don’t do that…
She goes on Facebook and writes this as her status:
your love by diddy dirty money today…im feelin really unappreciated tomorrow. people suck…. thats why its best to live a numb life!
Of course it’s about me. She’s “unappreciated” or whatever….
Then, this happens…. some dude comments on her status, read for yourself the conversation that follows:
Random Dude: Damn skippy!
Ghetto Club: JAY SEAN! i was thinkin bout you today and got sad :[ you act like you dont love miss keri no more...
Random Dude: Hahah I'll always love my miss keri! Too bad she's been MIA since forever. Loll
Ghetto Club: sayyy what? i am not MIA. thats youu. everytime i ask about you somebody says oo i havent seen himm!
Random Dude: Hahahha whaa? I'm always on campus! Stop hiding from me :(
Ghetto Club: ya yaaa... ok lets hang out wednesday... lol go to [campus event]. i need points or i wont graduate on time… :/
Random Dude: Ahahhahaha girl your gonna be stuck at [school] foreverR! Lmao. Ok sounds good then lunch after?
Ghetto Club: ooo sureee! seeing as how we still have YET to go get lunch!!!
Random Dude: You bailed on me on our last lunch date!!!
Ghetto Club: nu uhhhh! i just had to make sure them jello shots were tasty…lol it was a very important task :]
Random Dude: Still counts as bailing…
Ghetto Club: nooo bc it was for your benefit my love! its ok.. redo this wednesday!
Random Dude: Hahah fine! Where to bosslady?
Ghetto Club: hmmm idc you can pick!
Random Dude: What your buying?? Ok cool :)
Ghetto Club: yea with the whole 2 bucks in my bank acct! can we say BALLIN!!!
Random Dude: Hahah shoot that’s a chicken patty with one pickle on the side! Baller!
Ghetto Club: o yeaaaa. i likes to do it big!
Wow. Is she fucking serious? On a status about me, she’s going to set up a date with a dude and give him the same Wednesday I just tried to chill with her on. Naw…. that’s just all the way disrepectful. Yeah, her fucking number is staying deleted.
I’m done.
Sucks that this feels like a breakup almost and we weren’t even together like that. I definitely wanted to keep her around longer, but I just feel like the same “you’re not a gentleman, you need to treat me like a princess! How come we never do what I want to do?” drama was just going to keep coming up.
Type d'événement :
Réunion en Plénière du collectif
Début de l'événement :
27.01.2022
Fin de l'événement :
29.01.2022