The Post Break Up Love Letter

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After ignoring GC’s texts and calls for a few days – and trust me there were a lot of them – I had a solid afternoon, a break from school and the grind and I did a lot of thinking and reflecting (I’ll write more about that later), but I was chilling at home by night and then I thought to myself, “I wonder if GC has mailed me a hand-written letter yet”. She had definitely tried everything else – email, Facebook, Skype, loads of calls and texts – telling me that she messed up, she loved me, please respond to her, etc, etc.

So, I went down to the mailbox… and sure enough she had.

I’ll post the letter here, just because I think it’s a solid letter and it shows that I have grown in my understanding of game over the years and also that game does work. It’s funny how after a couple of days of reflection, she’s able to pinpoint so many things and get so many things right.

Anyway, here’s the letter:

[Wonka],

I’m sorry and I know saying I’m sorry is getting old. It’s just words can’t express how I’m feeling right now. I wish I could take back everything I did because I really felt like we had something special. Everything we had is worth fighting for. For the first time in my life, I found a guy that didn’t let me control them and I love that. For awhile, I began noticing everything I hate about you like your attitude when you’re mad, your oblivion as to how all of your actions affected me, and the fact that you don’t spoil me…. but as I sit here trying to hide my tears because I am so ashamed of my actions, I realize that all of those things I hate about you just makes me want to love you more. Baby I want to be there for you. I want to be your support system, lover, friend, and honestly one day I hoped to be your wife. If you hate me I understand. I deserve that. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. But I know getting through the rest of this life without someone like you in my life will be the worst punishment ever. I pray you find it in your heart to forgive me. I swear I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sure you lost all of the trust you had in me, but please let me make it up to you. I think we have a love worth fighting for. That’s why every time we break up I don’t give up. I just think I have a lot of growing up to do and I’d really enjoy it if you were there guiding me to where I need to be. I depend on you for a lot of things and I need you in my life. I don’t think now is a good time to be in a relationship but I know I don’t want to be without you. I love you and I miss you with every breath I take. When you sleep at my house I go smell the sheets and I don’t wash them until mommy makes me because I just want to smell your scent. [Wonka], you have taught me so much in little time and besides my HUGE fuck up and the distance, I really think this was the best relationship of my life. My hope is that we remain support systems for each other and in [time] you allow me to cheer you across that stage. Baby I just want to be your everything. I am so sorry I ruined everything. But I hope you know how much you mean to me. You’re the first guy whose made me cry so much so that’s gotta be worth something. You’re also the first guy that knows how to keep me attracted to them mentally and physically at the same time. You were right about me. I am afraid. I’m afraid of someone loving me so much and that I’ll never be able to do right by them. There is no excuse for my actions baby. I know this. I’m a weak little bia that doesn’t know how to act when opportunities present themselves. But I promise, if I can just have you as at least a friend, I’ll earn your trust again. If you have any love left for me, please return my calls or texts or write me a long email and say everything that’s on your heart and mind. Contrary to my actions, I do believe we have a love worth fighting for and I’ll fight as long as I have to.

- Your very sorry [nickname]

P.S. Don’t make me tattoo your name so you know its real

I think that some of her insights just go to further substantiate the points I highlighted the other day in my Relationship Game post.
Type d'événement : Réunion en Plénière du collectif
Début de l'événement : 04.02.2022
Fin de l'événement : 07.02.2022